This is a conversation that happened today, between me and my new 6 year old student.
6: Hey. You’re not Mr Richard.
Me: No, I’m Miss Amy.
6: Miss! Not Mrs?
Me: Miss is for girls, Mrs is for married women.
I’m Miss because I’m not married.
6: Ohhh, but whyyyy aren’t you married?
Me: Erm…
6: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: Yes.
6: Is he funny?
Me: Sometimes.
6: Is he funnier than you?
Me: He likes to think that he is.
6: But is he? Is he funnier than you?
Me: I don’t think he is.
6: I think you’re funny. But you speak funny.
Why do you speak funny and not proper?
Me: Why do you think that I speak funny?
6: Because you don’t talk like Mr Richard.
He talks like this (puts on American accent) but you don’t. Why?
Me: Because Richard is from America and I am from England.
When people are from different places their voices sound different.
6: Oh. Can you still say awesome? I like it when Mr Richard says awesome.
Me: If you want me to, yes.
6: Awesome.
Me: Awesome.
6: *Giggles*
*Ten minutes later*
6: I’m going to tell you something.
Me: What are you going to tell me?
6: Me and my teachers have problems.
Me: Oh! Why do you have problems?
6: Because I’m lazy and I don’t really want to like them.
Me: I don’t think you’re lazy – look at all this work you’ve done.
6: But I’m lazy in my heart.
And when you know something in your heart. You just know.
But Mrs. Oh (Throws hand over her mouth). MISS Amy. *Giggles*
I don’t think we’re going to have a problem.
Me: Why is that?
6: Because I like you.
Me: Oh, that’s good. I’m glad you like me.
6: You’re cute, like a puppy.
Me: …
6: Did you know I’m really funny?
Me: Are you!?
6: YEAH. You don’t know because you’ve only met me one time, but that’s ok because next time and next time you’ll see me.
You will see how funny I am.
Me: Ok. Shall we do some more work?
6: Yes. But I don’t want to write this sentence.
Me: Why not?
6: Because it’s wrong. It says “I like fish and chips.”
But I don’t like fish and chips. I like… CHICKEN.
Me: Ok – let’s correct the grammar on this sentence then we can make some of our own sentences.
6: Oh man! *Giggles* … I like to call everyone a man, even though you’re not a man, you’re a Mrs.
Miss.
Sorry you’re a Miss. Miss. Miss. Miss.
Me: Yes, Miss.
6: Anyways. I was going to say oh man that sounds AWESOME. You’re so cool.
Me: Thank-you. Let’s finish this sentence then you can write your own.
6: You’re silly. I like you because you’re silly and funny.
Me: Thank-you. I like being silly and funny – it’s fun.
6: Do you think you’re a Miss and not a Mrs because you’re too silly and funny for your boyfriend and he just doesn’t know?
Me: Doesn’t know what?
6: That the universe needs you…
Me: What does the universe need me for?
6: The universe needs you to make people laugh!
… And that is how I found myself torn between wanting a six year old as my best friend, and wanting her to stop talking.
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