2014’s Lessons

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Every year on December 31st I see the same thing.
An overcrowded bandwagon metaphorically rolling past, full to the brim with “new year, new me” bullshit.
 
I say bullshit because let’s face it, how many resolutions that are made the day before the clock strikes 12 and the new year begins, are actually kept? I understand why people make them. It’s a metaphor for a new beginning. Everybody feels the same desire to improve and united by the desire to succeed we all move forward in unison, and that’s not something to be mocked. The thing I mock is the reasoning behind it. People find things to change just because society tells them that today is the day to. Businesses pounce on vulnerable people who want to change with low priced introductory gym memberships, discounted nicotine patches and bargainous travel deals for those looking to save more. But I don’t believe that you should wait for a specific date to change. I believe that changes happen when you want them to, and in order to commit and really do what you set out to, you need to be ready. Because if you’re not ready to commit to your goal, you’re setting yourself up for failure before you’ve even started.
 
And that’s not how the new you should begin.
 
2014 was an eye opener for me. I learnt so much about myself, what I like, what I stand for and what I’m willing to strive for. It’s taught me to be more confident in expression, whether in writing or person. It’s taught me that it’s okay to feel things wholly. And that meant that 2014 was quite the emotional roller coaster.
 
The 1st part of 2014 was filled with self-discovery, travel and adventure throughout Thailand, and the second was filled with repatriation, doubt and the struggle of discovering who I was when I wasn’t travelling. I lost myself soon after I found myself. My tone changed, my posts became less frequent and I lost my presence online. If I was Amy the girl who travelled, and I was no longer travelling, who was I?
 
It turns out I’m exactly the same person whether I’m living out of a wardrobe or a backpack, but at the time I was clueless and felt as though someone had pulled the rug from beneath me. Days were clouded with lethargy, doubt and negativity. But thanks to the love, support and kindness of those around me, and all of you lovely internet readers, (who as the stats show, have surprisingly stuck with me), I’ve cleared the cloud of confusion caused by my self-doubt, and realised that the only new years resolution I want to follow, from now until I grasp it. Is this:
 
Get out of the way.
 
I’ve always been guilty of standing in my own way. (Have you?)
I get too caught up in short-term goals that I forget about what I really want to achieve in life.
So when I get a new job, a new hobby, a new idea – I throw myself into it 100%.
Which is great… For my boss, my pay packet and the part of me that loves achieving new things. But it comes at the cost of my long-term dreams, so now I’m making my New Year’s Resolutions my Life Resolutions. Which are:
 
– No more letting the fear dictate which risks I take.
– No more putting other people (unnecessarily) first.
– No more comparisons.
– No more excuses.
– and YES TO LOADS MORE SELFIES.
 
What are your New Years Resolutions?
Let me know in the comments!